Why Couples and Marriage Counseling?

Does it feel like the passion is slipping away from your marriage? Are your partner and you having the same arguments over and over again? Do you feel like your relationship is out of control?

If so, couples and marriage counseling can help you and your partner gain a better understanding of each other’s wants and needs, increase your mutual respect, facilitate and enhance your communication, and more readily experience and express love and happiness.

It All Starts with Communication

Couples and Marriage Counseling in San Carlos, CA - Stan Graubart, MFTJust as the key to success in real estate is location, location, location, the key to successful relationships is unquestionably communication, communication, communication!

Don’t get me wrong, there are other vital components to relationship success, including friendship and mutual respect. But they all start with communication.

This being the case, almost all relationship and marriage counseling work I do begins with helping couples explore their communication processes – including what roles each partner is playing in their interactions with each other – so that we can identify the source of communication difficulties and decrease mutual blame. This means my not only making sure that you communicate with one another openly, but also helping you really listen to each other as well.

But effective communication doesn’t only involve how you communicate with others. If you aren’t aware of your own needs and desires and are uncertain about how certain situations make you feel, it will be next to impossible to communicate effectively with others. Therefore, I’ll also work with you and your partner, either individually or together, to make sure you understand your own wants and needs and that they are congruent with your thoughts and actions.

Having thoughts, feelings, and beliefs about ourselves that make us feel uncomfortable and that we’d rather not share is extremely common. Unfortunately, rather than look at our issues squarely and deal with them, we all too often project them onto our partners and others with whom we’re communicating.

This “projection” can be a huge issue in any relationship. When problems in a relationship arise, there is little to gain by placing blame. But it can be extremely helpful to know what problems are yours and what problems are your partner’s.

Accordingly, I often help serve as a reality check for partners at the beginning of counseling.

As a couples counselor, I do not take sides. And I don’t have the history or biases that your partner and you may have about each other. In other words, I’m neutral. And a truly objective, third-party is rare and extremely helpful when two people are trying to honestly evaluate their relationship.

It takes courage to see the tendencies in ourselves that need changing, take responsibility for them, and work on overcoming them, and I support and encourage my couples clients as they learn the skills necessary to do so.

We’ll also explore the best ways for you to maintain a proper balance between your professional, personal, social, and family lives, as achieving such a balance is a critical component in enjoying the most rewarding relationship possible.

What If You’ve Decided It’s Too Late?

If you’re beyond the stage of merely contemplating the end of your relationship or marriage and need to begin the process of separation, couples counseling can still help by providing your partner and you support and helping both of you keep the lines of communication open for your sake as well as for the stability of your family.

When facing separation or divorce, couples counseling may even help avoid the hassles of mediation and litigation. And it can certainly make the job of co-parenting easier once a divorce is complete.

No matter what situation your relationship is in, it’s never too early or too late to seek couples counseling and therapy. The right time is different for every couple and rarely does a couple seek counseling at the “right” time.

If you’re even considering couples or marriage counseling, there’s no time like the present to take the first step towards a more open, understanding, and respectful relationship.

Are Couples Counseling and Therapy Right for You?

As social beings, our lives are comprised of our relationships with ourselves and others. In a very real sense, our relationships define who we are and the lives we live.

Given how important relationships are to our happiness and fulfillment, shouldn’t you try to make yours the best they can be? Couples counseling and therapy can help you:

  • Resolve issues in a new relationship,
  • Revive the spark in an established partnership,
  • Prevent an impending divorce, or
  • End a relationship on amicable terms,

For well over two decades, one of the focal points of my private counseling and therapy practice has been helping couples gain the knowledge, skills, and understanding necessary to repair their relationships, enjoy life together and move lovingly forward into the future.

In short, the couples and marriage counseling services I provide can help both your partner and you communicate more effectively, listen to each other with respect and understanding, and learn the problem-solving skills necessary to decrease patterns of tension, anger, and blame.

If you think your relationship may be able to benefit from couples counseling and therapy, please feel free to contact me at 650-595-2698 or stangraubart@comcast.net with your questions or to schedule a free consultation. I look forward to speaking with you.